Veering Another Direction
I am acting on my intention to avoid Crohn’s and go another route. My spiritual life is augmenting. I pay attention as often as possible to mindfulness techniques. I begin my day opening myself up to love and light, and plan my day. I invite my higher self, legions of angels, the Great Spirit, and engage my subconscious, the little girl in me to support me and one another in healing this body. I pray the Daily Word and the bodhisattva prayer. I continue to release any holding in my brain and in my gut. I am ending my day the same way. I am letting go of worrying too much, and taking on people’s problems around me. I am practicing healthy boundaries between myself and the world. What a huge shift this entails. Cultivating psychic space…
I went back to see Maggie to deal with some of the psychological stuff. With the officially mysterious causes of the disease I am avoiding, it makes sense that the root cause is actually beyond mere genetics, the immune system, and environmental factors. My deeper diagnosis is still that not only have I had a tumultuous life this lifetime, but also I feel in my gut that also I picked up some negative baggage in a particularly traumatic past life. This is all in the light of consciousness and physicality, and I am shifting my future from the way it would be if I were passive to my circumstances, to myself in activation mode, in engaging a life of the Spirit. My mind is powerful, so are these forces, and I am the creator here.
I like this. I’m going to bed earlier, when I am tired, and I am waking up earlier when the light is youngish and beautiful. I have so much more time and energy. I am listening to my body.
School is going well. I am doing a class on Immanuel Kant, and an independent study on Shamanism. The information I am getting is synchronous to events in my life. It’s so cool. Here’s a tidbit that ties in both classes and my life:
I was reading yesterday in the Shaman’s Doorway by Stephen Larsen about healing practices of the Iroquois. They believed that not only do we have conscious desires based on experience and the senses, but that our souls have innate desires expressed through the world of dreams. If these desires of the soul remain unacknowledged, the result is unhappiness, disease, and even death. Yes
I feel like in the past I have been neglecting the innate desires of my soul– a highly spiritually infused life (with more practice on top of theory), and to live in harmony with my natural rhythms. This is not too complex. In the past, I’ve been beating myself up. I’ve been mistakingly giving in to other’s actions towards me defining me, crumbling under other’s energy… I began to live too hard and too fast, and then taking too much on. This loud and clear. What my subconscious, the representative of this shining desire needs now, is a voice, care, love, attention, and nurture. I promise her these things from now on.
N. Lois Turtledove is a graduate student at the University of Colorado at Denver obtaining a Master's Degree in Humanities. She teaches yoga inside and outside the home, and is an apprentice in the ancient therapeutic art of shamanic practice. She understands that the only real enemy is the self, and the Self is the deepest source of nurture. She wishes freedom from suffering for herself and for all sentient beings.