I have read and pretty much enjoyed Derrida’s work on democracy- Politics of Friendship (1997). His style is not at all straightforward, but his point is good as highlights oppositions and shows possibilities. The fun has been in the analysis.
We should continue to strive to have more friendship in our democratic community… it is a work in progress.
I find interesting the classifications Aristotle describes in friendships, including what struck me as a foundation for the concept of “best friends” (the sacred kind of childhood) and for the other various relationships there are such as the more mundane kind of friendship among people living together in a community. These Aristotelian distinctions have come to life in my experience, and so I thought I’d share the eloquent discussion on the topic.
The following is a synopsis of Aristotle’s commentary in Derrida’s words on friendship and the relationship among the three kinds of friendship. Derrida’s purpose is not to privilege the great discourses on friendship or to submit to their authority, but to question the process and logic of canonization… he wants to analyze forces and procedures that have created hegemonic concepts and marginalized others. He questions Aristotle’s axiomatic and hierarchy creating power. I will leave out his peppering of Greek terms, and embark from the observation that there are three kinds of friendship- friendship of virtue, of pleasure, and usefulness. Friendship of usefulness is political friendship, as in democracy, the goal is to yield as much friendship in the polis as possible.
Political friendship is attentive to equality as well as to the thing (the affair), to the former as much as the latter…(my italics) This is what political friendship ‘looks to’ and what concerns it. As in a market, in commerce between buyers and sellers. Equality and the thing, the equality of things, therefore the third party and the common measure: an account and a fixed wage [gage] are necessary: a salary, a fee. a counter -value. Aristotle quotes Hesoid: “A fixed wage for a friend”, which has sometimes been translated: “Short reckonings make long friends”. When it is grounded on consent, consensus, convention, this friendship is at once political and legal. It is then, a matter of homology or reciprocity, as in the case of a contract, an agreement between two subscribing parties. When, on the other hand, the parties leave the matter to each other’s discretion, in a sort of trust without contract, credit becoming an act of faith, then friendship ‘wants to be’ moral, ethical, and of the order of comradeship. Why is it that in this latter case recriminations and grievances abound? Because this ethical friendship is against nature. Indeed, those who associate themselves in this way wish to have both friendships at once, one in the service of interest (based on usefulness) and one appealing to virtue (the reliability of the other)…Aristotle thus describes a tragedy as much as a comedy, major and minor calculations: this irrepressible desire to overinvest in a friendship or a love, to count on a profit in renouncing profit, to expect a recompense, if only a narcissistic or symbolic one, from the most disinterested virtue or generosity. With the help of a distinction which should not be judged a summary one, Aristotle never gives up analysing the ruses that enable one friendship to be smuggled into another, the law of the useful into that of pleasure, one or the other into virtue’s mask. Those who prefer ‘ethical’ friendship believe it possible to dispense with the legal, nomic form of political friendship; they disregard the contract or mutual agreement, thus opening themselves up to disappointment. Moreover, it is in ‘useful’ friendship, and within it, then, political friendship, that the greatest number of grievances and recriminations are encountered. Friendship based on virtue is, by definition, impeccable. As for friendship based on pleasure, friends part and bonds unravel once the enjoyment has run its course: the friends have had their delight, they have given, received, offered; they have had, and do not request anything more. Of course, all the forms of ‘aporia’ then spring up — aporia is Aristotle’s word [logical impasse]– as to the criteria of the just, and when we must determine what is just from the vantage point of quantity or quality; the vantage point of the enjoyment of what is given or of the rendered service. On this count, how are we to get the person giving and the person receiving to agree? Who gives and who receives? It goes without saying that if political friendship considers the ‘homology’ (the contractual agreement) and the thing, it is less just, its justice is less ‘friendly’ than ethical frienship, which counts on intention, will, and choice. The fundamental conflict lies in the opposition of the beautiful and the useful: the ethical friendship is certainly ‘more beautiful’, but useful friendship is more necessary.
A big theme question in the book was “How many friends?”
When virtue is at stake:
At stake is virtue, which is no longer in nature, this virtue whose name will remain suspended, without an assured concept, as long as these two laws of friendship will not have been thought. For the reliability of the stable that on which the virtue depends — therefore liberty, decision, and reflection — can no longer be only natural. No more so than time, which does not belong to nature when it puts primary friendship to the test. In the history of the concept of nature — and already in its Greek history — the virtue of friendship will have dug the trench of an opposition. For it obliges Aristotle himself to restrain the concept of nature: he must oppose it to its other — here to virtue — when he classes friendship among stable things, in the same way as happiness belongs to self-sufficient and autarkic things. It is the same immanence that provides shelter from external or random causalities… Since friendship does not — and above all must not — have the reliability of a natural thing or a machine; since its stability is not given by nature but is won, like constancy and ‘fidence’, through the endurance of a virtue, primary friendship… There may well be other forms of friendship (for example, says Aristotle, with children, animals, and the wicked), but they never imply virtue, nor equality in virtue. For if all the species of frienship (the three principal ones, according to virute, to usefulness, to pleasure) imply equality or equity, only primary friendship demands an equality of virtue between friends, in what assigns them reciprocally to one another.
“One soul in two bodies twain.” Indivisible. Can be found once in every three hundred years.
The Human Condition | 15.07.2008 13:50 | 1 Comment
A short time ago I ran across the email of one of my shaman friends. Shortly after I had the most bizarre dream that she was in. I was at a mansion belonging to a secret society. I was looking for healing. I was with my ex. One of my old friends helped me get by the crazy lever/sliding door booby-trap contraption on some stairs. I was in an old Victorian costume disguise, needing to get past some stuffy old secret society men undetected. Then I ran into an intuitive who said that my ex and I were going to get married. I must have been back in time in the dream, because I had knowledge of the future and I thought in my head- no, we are not going to get married, we aren’t going to make it. But I had to keep quiet about it, because it was private information from the future.
Then I ran into Maggie. She put her fingers into my head and as a healing maneuver she crunched some superfluous bones in my jaw. I was spitting out the nasty bone pieces for the rest of the dream. I was grateful.
I emailed her about it. This is what she said:
> Aloha again Lois,
>
> Well all I feel is that type of healing is very much what we do ‘energetically’.
> Bones cary so much mana (powerful energy). If they didn’t belong in your jaw, they were no
> longer serving you & I did whatever I did so you can be free that is a great thing.
> What is going on for you? Anything with your jaw…mouth…speaking your
> truth…etc?
> Hugs
> Maggie
That place in my head from where she released the extra bones was the same as when a couple of weeks ago my yoga teacher put her thumbs in my ears, told me to release and helped me turn my head better in triangle pose. It had felt wonderful. My yoga teacher is also someone I see for therapy- I have been working on healing that gut of mine. This lady has encouraged me to change my living situation. (Living with my housemate has been super stressful in terms of some economic difficulties.) So, just recently, some more difficulties arose and I told my housemate she needed to move out.
It was a situation I had been tip-toeing around with, not wanting to not shake things up too much. But it came down to me needing to not only speak my truth, but to accept something that had been coming, sooner than I thought it would come, and act on it when the time came. The living situation was no longer serving either of us, and it was time to speak my truth and change it up for the sake of better holistic health. The same thing had happened with my ex, interestingly enough he was in my dream.
I am feeling free!
I have taken some medication because of continued gut-aches, and I finally have some complete relief. I had checked in with my conventional doctor, and he said it didn’t sound serious or like anything to worry about. Whatever it is that I’m doing, seems to be progressing along quite well. The NMT is working, not overnight, but all the work I’ve been doing outside of conventional medecine is working!
Things are definitely changing. Life metamorphosizing. I feel positive about it all. I am moving into a cheaper place with a yard, and space for me and my kitties that I can afford. I am renting my house out. I have put it out there: I would like to manifest some responsible, reliable, respectful tennant(s). And I am moving in with my love and partner!
Dreams, Events, Health, Yoga | 6.07.2008 23:53 | No Comments
The last time I went to see Dr. Schwartz for NMT (neuromodular technique) I commented how interesting it was, that when he cleared a pathway to release pathological negative emotions in my body I dreamed about my cat being boiled alive. How Freudian it was- perhaps it was so unacceptable to me that I had any sort of thought about killing the cat for repeatedly peeing on my bed in anger, that I repressed it down only to release it in a dream later. How psycho-somatic was this Crohn’s business? Schwartz remarked how clearly my inflammatory bowel thing is tied to my emotions. He went on to say that since we weren’t clearing out my problem thus far with NMT, there other modalities in the clinic that I could possible try- a Reiki master who does this thing called a Reconnection, hypnotherapy, there was a psychotherapist there who also is a nutritionist…
The Reconnection thing sounded the best in my gut (to my gut?) From the time I was quite young, I felt somewhat disconnected from the grand embrace of the universe. Just the idea of RECONNECTION brought tears to my eyes. I decided to let my intuition take over. More than anything I wanted to experience this.
The principles behind Reconnection are like those behind acupuncture- energetically and with meridian lines in the body… but goes beyond acupuncture. It is pretty out there even for me; I won’t go into the background of this process. But the woman facilitator I met in doing this is amazing. At our first appointment together, which was an intuitive session, when she told me about herself, she told me that she aligns herself with God, and her guides. She does not do astrology nor Tarot or anything like that. She has been an intuitive since she was little, and in her room at the office she had an alter set up with a picture of Jesus, Paramahansa Yogananda, and what I found out later was a man called Bruno Groening.
The Reconnection took two sessions with a day in between. During the first session, as I was lying on the table with my eyes closed and Josie worked over me with her hands, I noticed that she began moving rather quickly from one side of the table to the other. After further sensing, it just didn’t feel like she was the only one in the room. I heard Josie’s movements by my head, but there was someone or something, angelic even, by my foot, and it was there for a while. The second day, she asserts that she does not make physical contact during the session, but I felt a distinct, concrete touch on my hair- twice.
Afterwards, conversation turned to how I was seeking healing for my gut. This is when she told me about Bruno Groening, and the Healing Stream. Bruno was a spiritual healer who created quite a stir in the 40s in Germany, and this is what I was to do:
Play some beautiful music, classical, or something without words, and sit or lie down with palms facing up, which enables one to collect energy. Invoke God, the greatest healer. Visualize the Healing Stream flowing through the body, and the disease exiting the body, perhaps as little black dots. Imagine the dots being taken away by a waterfall, or a hot-air balloon then burning up in the sun… ask God to take it away. Then, when there are no more black dots or if you are ready to finish up for the time being, imagine, in every possible way you can think of, yourself in an optimal state of health. Connect to the Healing Stream every day. All disease is curable. For Josie, she did this meditation and after fifteen months (seems kind of long, doesn’t it?) her knees which had hurt her chronically due to injuries became free of pain. But hey- a lasting cure is worth hard work!
Two days later, after being reconnected and spending a lot of time at the healing stream, I feel invigorated and full of hope robust faith; and I mostly, I’m feeling kind of high! Visualization is easy, and so is changing my perspective.
Health, The Human Condition | 14.06.2008 23:38 | 2 Comments
I dreamed we were saying goodbye again, mama. You were moving to Montana, and I was moving to Minnesota and we were taking turns packing up the house. I got some of your things. I was crying and crying. It was gong to be such a long drive between visitations. I didn’t even know anyone in Minneapolis, just Josh, but we’re not speaking. I knew I was going to miss you, and I miss you now. It’s strange to have you here with me and me not being able to see you. I see you in my mind’s eye and sometimes I feel like you, and right now, I just know you’re here. With these tears, it’s all fresh again. Jason got the dumpster packed up for me, but no, I do not want it.
I went to see an intuitive last week and the session was amazing. It hit directly home. Even this dream and my feelings now lead to the prayers which came during the session:
I release everything and all things which do not belong to me… God, ignite the fire within me and enfold, protect and surround me with divine light and love, may nothing enter my energy field except by way of this light and love, may only the same vibration enter in and everything else I observe outside this field of energy. May I accept and allow a return to complete wholeness and wellness. Thank you for all mention here today. May I be abundantly blessed and abundantly bless others, thank you, thank you, thank you.
May I be aware of helpful and loving guidance, and my mother’s love around me, for she is around me a lot of the time. So are seven to ten other angelic entities! wow…
Dreams, Oracle | 3.06.2008 9:34 | 3 Comments
I’ve been going to see him for NMT (neuro-modular technique) bi-weekly for eight weeks. I improved in the third visit and after some cranial-sacral therapy with Linda, but then I had kind of stayed stuck with still heightened pain in the gut and joints that hovered without any of the other symptoms exacerbating. Dr. Schwartz had found a virus, and reprogrammed my neurology to recognize it as a target for my immune system, which is reacting properly, not “over-activating” as in an “immune disease” which is what Crohn’s is called by the conventional doctors. Schwartz cleared other blockages to healing, karma, and only he or my chart at his office could tell you what else. I had done shamanism, and psychotherapy too, but my somatic, bodily functions were still hovering at dis-ease.
Last week, Dr. Schwartz had released some negative emotions that had to do with my systemic inflammatory response, ulcerative colitis. He said that I could fine, or I could cry and be emotional. If I was, then that was okay, I was just releasing.
I went home and took a nap. In my dream, my niece Christine was hungry for a meat-snack, and she boiled my cat alive. I could hear Walter meowing from inside the pot, and I was in pieces about it, sobbing and crying, devastated. I woke up crying and sobbing! I remembered that I was releasing, and the emotions left me.
I told Antonio about it last visit with him. His first thought was that my unconscious mind was telling me that I wanted some meat.
Then I told him about my stress that I may be need to move in a year or less, and I know the change will be awful for the cats to bear and there will be peeing on stuff when moving happens. The fact that I have three cats has been overwhelming me when I think about my living situation- should anything change. The possibility of change is there because a) Chris and I have tossed around the idea of living together sooner or later and b) my room-mate has been perpetually late on bills and reasonably partaking in household chores. Something needs to change in that scenario (the stress and resentment is negatively affecting my health) and- we have made changes in the bill situation and rent payment deadline/consequences for late payments. One of consequences is termination of her living here! That would be sad though, in a way, she is a dear friend and living with her has been wonderful, too. It is secure for me and my cats, but I had to draw a boundary.
The stress of maybe moving my life around, and the thought of my cats and their peeing has made me wonder what I was going to do with my cats if I had trouble keeping them- if they would pee all over our stuff. I love them dearly! But that behavior is unacceptable. I’m not a stranger to this thought that a part of me would rather “kill” the trouble-maker if they kept peeing on our stuff, than take the cat to a shelter. They would suffer so bad there! Antonio said how acceptable it really is be released from suffering, however, it was interesting that I formulated the sentence the way I had. This got me thinking. “Killing” Walter, was maybe a strictly logical thing to do, but contrary to what could feel as right. Also I am very devoted to my values (take care of my kitties even if it means sacrificing my life moving onward, perhaps, to take care of them)… I must have had such an incredible internal conflict, when the murderous thought arose. It perhaps brought itself to light in the dream that I had… such an “unacceptable” thought of offing my cat was so unacceptable to me that I must have repressed the worst of it. Or maybe it’s anger left over from the fourth time my cat peed on my bed, when he pissed on it right in front of me and I lost it.
Nothing really happened in the journey, that day. But perhaps that energy was released in my dream, and talking about it with Antonio opened a door for the transformation of that energy back into my consciousness, uniting thought and feeling. I just kept coming up against the void in the journey, and fell asleep. I did find the deer and the elephant, toward the end, and elephant wrapped her trunk around me and said that I was deserving of healing. I had not been able to affirmatively answer the question a few days ago. That belief of not deserving may have been quite a block in my healing. The affirmation from elephant was wonderful, and felt real. The King of the Underworld didn’t say anything, but it felt like he affirmed that NMT was serving me.
I watch my mind lately and it, in situations, jumps by default to blame. I play the victim. I find someone to blame.
I must remember to be loved, and to be love.
Dreams, Health, Journey, Reflection | 21.05.2008 3:01 | No Comments
N. Lois Turtledove is a graduate student at the University of Colorado at Denver obtaining a Master's Degree in Humanities. She teaches yoga inside and outside the home, and is an apprentice in the ancient therapeutic art of shamanic practice. She understands that the only real enemy is the self, and the Self is the deepest source of nurture. She wishes freedom from suffering for herself and for all sentient beings.