I don’t Want to be Inside, writing.

I Want to Be Outside, working in the Sun!

It’s darkish in here. I crave direct sunlight!
Maybe I have SAD. A bit of inertia. Maybe, it makes more people than me sad to be shut inside all day to work.

Freud and even Gandhi critique civilization. Freud claims its a necessary evil, but Gandhi thinks that it is just evil.

Open | 19.04.2010 14:14 | No Comments

Awkward Presentation

I don’t like being on the spot. I can sing like a song-bird to you when I am inspired, and can orate on a whim like no other. However, when it’s a test, it makes me nervous. It is an insecurity that creeps up when I am on the spot.

In the spot, dark room, piercing hot white light on the top of my head, making my hair hot and my stomach drop. Why? What beliefs do I have of you that I let this happen? Do I perceive a threat to my self-worth?

I am in control when you don’t expect it of me, demanding perfection. It is I that demands it, do you too? Are you demanding it of yourself. I sprinted off from the start line and hadn’t stopped to collect myself, to collect energy, and your attention.

Reminds me of the Cardigans song ” Read the rest of this entry »

Open, Reflection | 28.02.2010 20:03 | No Comments

On Yoga and Its Healing Mechanics: a Psychological Model

Being in the pose and staying long enough for it to unfold
Listening to the conversations in the body
A greater stretch is called forth
and one has a choice of either:
escaping the discomfort and leaving dense matter unconscious
or, one can stay with it and create an opening
Waiting as mind recognizes itself in body, and body in the mind.

Open | 12.01.2010 9:54 | No Comments

shaker

I was just try ing to play what was in my head.
What is in my soul

Open | 13.12.2009 12:00 | No Comments

Adversary II.

My next job in line in the long run of unhappy employment has also provided me the opportunity to deal with a “negative other” (which happens to be the subject of my thesis.) Contrarily to the English school, this time it is I that can’t stand to work with the person that is troublesome, instead of the other way around. The lady that trained me, that I have to work with sometimes lies, manipulates, and is downright mean. I struggle to shift my perspective from hate to love.

I take this as an opportunity for growth. I must shed the fear and paralysis of sticking up for myself, and stand up for what’s right. I can’t go on avoiding uncomfortable situations at my own expense. This is the perfect opportunity to practice talking back to this harpy, because I don’t really care about this job.

Meanwhile, I manifest something better. I had forgotten that you must be careful what you wish for. I had gone into this just wanting a job. Any restaurant job. Well, that is not good enough. I want to work someplace that doesn’t stink (literally), that has nice people, is busy and I make good money, a place that I want to be…

Open | 10.12.2009 9:01 | No Comments