Archive for the 'Love' Category

Thoughts on Love

Right now I think that we don’t actually fall in love with people, instead we fall in love with Love. These dear objects of our affection are spectacular, wonderful vessels bringing out these feelings of love within us, yet that is where these feelings originate, within us. It has little to do with them, actually. They can’t help the irresistable things they do. We love them despite all of the torture they put us through. We love these people ideally, with all their flaws and imperfections, unconditionally, for however long the ideal lasts, matched up with them. It could be for months, years, maybe lifetimes… time and the events of earth test this ideal.

And yet I am not cynical about romantic love. I think all this because of my observations in this world, and because I am hopelessly, hopelessly in love, with all of my loves from the past, with nobody in particular. I carry around an ideal that I would lay my life down for. I know my soul-mate is out there, somewhere, and I’ll scour the earth looking for him. The irony of it is, he’s probably already within.

Love, The Human Condition | 24.02.2007 12:53 | 3 Comments

Ouchie Still

I’m so in love with the Idea of romantic love
The practical matter sailed a bit
and then sank with the sunset at the end of the day.
Mourning for the disconnected Ideal
Peace comes behind closed eyelids swollen with tears.
Where is he? I’ve sought him my whole life. Maybe my heart will be ready to receive him one day, I wait patiently for gentle healing.

Love, Prose | 13.02.2007 13:54 | 2 Comments

Desolate Lover, Inexhaustible Love

This love is coming from me, he was the vessel for it… He’s gone, but Love is not.

She looked at him and saw his profile, which was in shadows, back-lit by the car window with an arctic tundra in the south-western desert in background, blowing snow, and the sun. He looked solemnly straight ahead at the road.

She gazed at him with fondness. She loved it when he reached out for her hand and held it tight. It made her feel radiant. There was something between them from the beginning. She felt love. But too she felt a wall, or something that was there, invisible, almost impenetrable.

This love is coming from me, she said to herself in her mind. He is the vessel for it…

He was much more than that. This man who showed her his love was much more complex than sweet letters and sweet words. He was a living, breathing, thinking, feeling man. He just didn’t talk very much. From behind the wall he showed her something she hadn’t seen about herself. He showed her how much she was invigorated by his affection, how much thirsted for it, how desolate she was when she thought she perceived it’s absence.

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Love, Short Story | 5.02.2007 5:30 | No Comments

Solemn Lights On in the Dark

More snow fell today. Inches more on top of snow and ice that’s been blanketing everything unshoveled or not ice-picked off for a month. It covered the glaciery ruts in the side-streets that make cars lurch like train-cars on heavy rail. Shovelers with driveways have piled it high so patches of lawn are like miniature snowy mountains. Plows have covered the street-benches lining 32nd avenue so feet of packed snow piled high are their only occupants.

I may as well be buried in there somewhere. I’m sad. I’m stuck. How did I get here? I gave in to love. And yes, again, love makes me sad.

I thought I was cured. I thought I was prepared. I thought I was stronger.

When he is unhappy, I am unhappy. When we don’t talk every day, like we used to, I get melancholy. I’m thankful to be assured today, but at the same time sorry to hear, that he’s been in a bad place, he’s waiting for something good to share. I wish he’d share anything, everything, just as long as he keep touch. I wish I could make him happy. I wish I could at least get myself peaceful. It is what it is, like they say.

This is the love that found me. I won’t fight it. I’ll keep looking inside, and get to know it better. What is it about me?

My inspiration today is that snow and ice, no matter how much there is for however long, will sooner or later most surely melt in this climate.

Love, Note To Self | 22.01.2007 1:34 | 2 Comments

I Like

Every day
I’m getting what I need
I’m getting love.
I like it.
It makes me want to give.
Every day.
I love.
I fear.
I love.
I love.
Every day
I’m relaxing into this
and suddenly I find
That I have no more fear!