Shifting and Moving

A short time ago I ran across the email of one of my shaman friends. Shortly after I had the most bizarre dream that she was in. I was at a mansion belonging to a secret society. I was looking for healing. I was with my ex. One of my old friends helped me get by the crazy lever/sliding door booby-trap contraption on some stairs. I was in an old Victorian costume disguise, needing to get past some stuffy old secret society men undetected. Then I ran into an intuitive who said that my ex and I were going to get married. I must have been back in time in the dream, because I had knowledge of the future and I thought in my head- no, we are not going to get married, we aren’t going to make it. But I had to keep quiet about it, because it was private information from the future.

Then I ran into Maggie. She put her fingers into my head and as a healing maneuver she crunched some superfluous bones in my jaw. I was spitting out the nasty bone pieces for the rest of the dream. I was grateful.

I emailed her about it. This is what she said:

> Aloha again Lois,
>
> Well all I feel is that type of healing is very much what we do ‘energetically’.
> Bones cary so much mana (powerful energy). If they didn’t belong in your jaw, they were no
> longer serving you & I did whatever I did so you can be free that is a great thing.
> What is going on for you? Anything with your jaw…mouth…speaking your
> truth…etc?
> Hugs
> Maggie

That place in my head from where she released the extra bones was the same as when a couple of weeks ago my yoga teacher put her thumbs in my ears, told me to release and helped me turn my head better in triangle pose. It had felt wonderful. My yoga teacher is also someone I see for therapy- I have been working on healing that gut of mine. This lady has encouraged me to change my living situation. (Living with my housemate has been super stressful in terms of some economic difficulties.) So, just recently, some more difficulties arose and I told my housemate she needed to move out.

It was a situation I had been tip-toeing around with, not wanting to not shake things up too much. But it came down to me needing to not only speak my truth, but to accept something that had been coming, sooner than I thought it would come, and act on it when the time came. The living situation was no longer serving either of us, and it was time to speak my truth and change it up for the sake of better holistic health. The same thing had happened with my ex, interestingly enough he was in my dream.

I am feeling free!

I have taken some medication because of continued gut-aches, and I finally have some complete relief. I had checked in with my conventional doctor, and he said it didn’t sound serious or like anything to worry about. Whatever it is that I’m doing, seems to be progressing along quite well. The NMT is working, not overnight, but all the work I’ve been doing outside of conventional medecine is working!

Things are definitely changing. Life metamorphosizing. I feel positive about it all. I am moving into a cheaper place with a yard, and space for me and my kitties that I can afford. I am renting my house out. I have put it out there: I would like to manifest some responsible, reliable, respectful tennant(s). And I am moving in with my love and partner!

Dreams, Events, Health, Yoga | 6.07.2008 23:53 | No Comments

Other Healing Techniques

The last time I went to see Dr. Schwartz for NMT (neuromodular technique) I commented how interesting it was, that when he cleared a pathway to release pathological negative emotions in my body I dreamed about my cat being boiled alive. How Freudian it was- perhaps it was so unacceptable to me that I had any sort of thought about killing the cat for repeatedly peeing on my bed in anger, that I repressed it down only to release it in a dream later. How psycho-somatic was this Crohn’s business? Schwartz remarked how clearly my inflammatory bowel thing is tied to my emotions. He went on to say that since we weren’t clearing out my problem thus far with NMT, there other modalities in the clinic that I could possible try- a Reiki master who does this thing called a Reconnection, hypnotherapy, there was a psychotherapist there who also is a nutritionist…

The Reconnection thing sounded the best in my gut (to my gut?) From the time I was quite young, I felt somewhat disconnected from the grand embrace of the universe. Just the idea of RECONNECTION brought tears to my eyes. I decided to let my intuition take over. More than anything I wanted to experience this.

The principles behind Reconnection are like those behind acupuncture- energetically and with meridian lines in the body… but goes beyond acupuncture. It is pretty out there even for me; I won’t go into the background of this process. But the woman facilitator I met in doing this is amazing. At our first appointment together, which was an intuitive session, when she told me about herself, she told me that she aligns herself with God, and her guides. She does not do astrology nor Tarot or anything like that. She has been an intuitive since she was little, and in her room at the office she had an alter set up with a picture of Jesus, Paramahansa Yogananda, and what I found out later was a man called Bruno Groening.

The Reconnection took two sessions with a day in between. During the first session, as I was lying on the table with my eyes closed and Josie worked over me with her hands, I noticed that she began moving rather quickly from one side of the table to the other. After further sensing, it just didn’t feel like she was the only one in the room. I heard Josie’s movements by my head, but there was someone or something, angelic even, by my foot, and it was there for a while. The second day, she asserts that she does not make physical contact during the session, but I felt a distinct, concrete touch on my hair- twice.

Afterwards, conversation turned to how I was seeking healing for my gut. This is when she told me about Bruno Groening, and the Healing Stream. Bruno was a spiritual healer who created quite a stir in the 40s in Germany, and this is what I was to do:

Play some beautiful music, classical, or something without words, and sit or lie down with palms facing up, which enables one to collect energy. Invoke God, the greatest healer. Visualize the Healing Stream flowing through the body, and the disease exiting the body, perhaps as little black dots. Imagine the dots being taken away by a waterfall, or a hot-air balloon then burning up in the sun… ask God to take it away. Then, when there are no more black dots or if you are ready to finish up for the time being, imagine, in every possible way you can think of, yourself in an optimal state of health. Connect to the Healing Stream every day. All disease is curable. For Josie, she did this meditation and after fifteen months (seems kind of long, doesn’t it?) her knees which had hurt her chronically due to injuries became free of pain. But hey- a lasting cure is worth hard work!

Two days later, after being reconnected and spending a lot of time at the healing stream, I feel invigorated and full of hope robust faith; and I mostly, I’m feeling kind of high! Visualization is easy, and so is changing my perspective.

Health, The Human Condition | 14.06.2008 23:38 | 2 Comments

Mid-May Body and Mind

I’ve been going to see him for NMT (neuro-modular technique) bi-weekly for eight weeks. I improved in the third visit and after some cranial-sacral therapy with Linda, but then I had kind of stayed stuck with still heightened pain in the gut and joints that hovered without any of the other symptoms exacerbating. Dr. Schwartz had found a virus, and reprogrammed my neurology to recognize it as a target for my immune system, which is reacting properly, not “over-activating” as in an “immune disease” which is what Crohn’s is called by the conventional doctors. Schwartz cleared other blockages to healing, karma, and only he or my chart at his office could tell you what else. I had done shamanism, and psychotherapy too, but my somatic, bodily functions were still hovering at dis-ease.

Last week, Dr. Schwartz had released some negative emotions that had to do with my systemic inflammatory response, ulcerative colitis. He said that I could fine, or I could cry and be emotional. If I was, then that was okay, I was just releasing.

I went home and took a nap. In my dream, my niece Christine was hungry for a meat-snack, and she boiled my cat alive. I could hear Walter meowing from inside the pot, and I was in pieces about it, sobbing and crying, devastated. I woke up crying and sobbing! I remembered that I was releasing, and the emotions left me.

I told Antonio about it last visit with him. His first thought was that my unconscious mind was telling me that I wanted some meat.

Then I told him about my stress that I may be need to move in a year or less, and I know the change will be awful for the cats to bear and there will be peeing on stuff when moving happens. The fact that I have three cats has been overwhelming me when I think about my living situation- should anything change. The possibility of change is there because a) Chris and I have tossed around the idea of living together sooner or later and b) my room-mate has been perpetually late on bills and reasonably partaking in household chores. Something needs to change in that scenario (the stress and resentment is negatively affecting my health) and- we have made changes in the bill situation and rent payment deadline/consequences for late payments. One of consequences is termination of her living here! That would be sad though, in a way, she is a dear friend and living with her has been wonderful, too. It is secure for me and my cats, but I had to draw a boundary.

The stress of maybe moving my life around, and the thought of my cats and their peeing has made me wonder what I was going to do with my cats if I had trouble keeping them- if they would pee all over our stuff. I love them dearly! But that behavior is unacceptable. I’m not a stranger to this thought that a part of me would rather “kill” the trouble-maker if they kept peeing on our stuff, than take the cat to a shelter. They would suffer so bad there! Antonio said how acceptable it really is be released from suffering, however, it was interesting that I formulated the sentence the way I had. This got me thinking. “Killing” Walter, was maybe a strictly logical thing to do, but contrary to what could feel as right. Also I am very devoted to my values (take care of my kitties even if it means sacrificing my life moving onward, perhaps, to take care of them)… I must have had such an incredible internal conflict, when the murderous thought arose. It perhaps brought itself to light in the dream that I had… such an “unacceptable” thought of offing my cat was so unacceptable to me that I must have repressed the worst of it. Or maybe it’s anger left over from the fourth time my cat peed on my bed, when he pissed on it right in front of me and I lost it.

Nothing really happened in the journey, that day. But perhaps that energy was released in my dream, and talking about it with Antonio opened a door for the transformation of that energy back into my consciousness, uniting thought and feeling. I just kept coming up against the void in the journey, and fell asleep. I did find the deer and the elephant, toward the end, and elephant wrapped her trunk around me and said that I was deserving of healing. I had not been able to affirmatively answer the question a few days ago. That belief of not deserving may have been quite a block in my healing. The affirmation from elephant was wonderful, and felt real. The King of the Underworld didn’t say anything, but it felt like he affirmed that NMT was serving me.

I watch my mind lately and it, in situations, jumps by default to blame. I play the victim. I find someone to blame.

I must remember to be loved, and to be love.

Dreams, Health, Journey, Reflection | 21.05.2008 3:01 | No Comments

Veering Another Direction

I am acting on my intention to avoid Crohn’s and go another route. My spiritual life is augmenting. I pay attention as often as possible to mindfulness techniques. I begin my day opening myself up to love and light, and plan my day. I invite my higher self, legions of angels, the Great Spirit, and engage my subconscious, the little girl in me to support me and one another in healing this body. I pray the Daily Word and the bodhisattva prayer. I continue to release any holding in my brain and in my gut. I am ending my day the same way. I am letting go of worrying too much, and taking on people’s problems around me. I am practicing healthy boundaries between myself and the world. What a huge shift this entails. Cultivating psychic space…

I went back to see Maggie to deal with some of the psychological stuff. With the officially mysterious causes of the disease I am avoiding, it makes sense that the root cause is actually beyond mere genetics, the immune system, and environmental factors. My deeper diagnosis is still that not only have I had a tumultuous life this lifetime, but also I feel in my gut that also I picked up some negative baggage in a particularly traumatic past life. This is all in the light of consciousness and physicality, and I am shifting my future from the way it would be if I were passive to my circumstances, to myself in activation mode, in engaging a life of the Spirit. My mind is powerful, so are these forces, and I am the creator here.

I like this. I’m going to bed earlier, when I am tired, and I am waking up earlier when the light is youngish and beautiful. I have so much more time and energy. I am listening to my body.

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Health, Spirituality | 8.09.2007 8:46 | No Comments

New Daily Regimen

Well, I have to do one more blood test, a Prometheus test to confirm 100% that it’s Crohn’s Disease. They are not too sure what exactly brings it on but they say genetics, immune system, and environmental factors are the causes. The immune system gets kicked on, and doesn’t know when to properly turn itself off. It is an auto-immune thing that probably got kicked on for me by some things that don’t seem to jive with me too well, like coffee, hormone-type birth control, a few too many sleepless nights, and maybe a little cold. My overactive immune system, after it should have shut itself off began attacking my gut, and my bowel became inflamed and then ulcerated and thus all the symptoms I’ve described in previous posts. Loss of appetite, weight loss, fatigue included.

This is what else I am doing to induce remission:

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Health | 1.09.2007 17:40 | 2 Comments