… the sound of crickets chirping on calm summer nights…
Answered prayer and dream come true. I am so glad I asked and stayed out of my own way. Thank you Universe, it’s absolutely perfect. Beautiful creation, divine manifestation… Moist eyes ablaze with joy, breathless with amazement and near disbelief: he has arrived, he is radiant, he is present, and he’s here with me…
The next potent memory arrived today during a cranio-sacral therapy appointment. I was lying on the table and Linda was doing work on me. I had an underwater sensation in my ears. I smelled something strange, something gaseous and unfamiliar. I mentioned this to her as the appointment came to a close. “Are you having a memory of your birth?” she asked me. Maybe… “Take your time getting up, dear,” she said.
As I lay there staring at the ceiling, contemplating, I got the urge to yell like a newborn. To release that cry announcing my successful entry into the world- and it was a cry of joy! I felt this sense of joy that I had forgotten all about, a joy that was there all along. A joy that preceded all trauma and baggage. It was a joy that I am here, ready to do some good work! and also, I had a moment of heightened emotion that I was going to release some of that old karma and baggage, and remember, forgive and be forgiven… Then, tiny me, I wanted to cuddle up into my wonderful loving mother’s arms.
Since the memory I had of me after my birth I’ve been spending time with this “baby-me” while lying there in the dark, quiet, sober time before sleep. It feels amazing. What great therapy.
Safe, loved, calm, nothing to worry about, cozy, tranquil, peaceful, beating heart, breathing… joy.
The breaks were put on spring a bit here with another round of snow. The poor tulips and blossoms! Though that didn’t stop a get-together here at the house from spontaneously gelling with music and a house-full of wonderful people. Ray Ray brought sound for us and his posse and it started off magically. Kevin played soulful, beautiful, funky house. Mel took us into prime-time, skillfully techy and dirty. Martin had a set prepared on his lap-top, but we had technical difficulties getting it out on that medium, he went back to vinyl, and the night sickened even further and pretty soon we were getting all swampy up in here. The chemistry was amazing… there’s nothing quite like dancing in an old bungalow with the lights low, clapping hands, the woo-hooin’ and yellin’ and getting down with friends in the mix of what the evening, and then the morning brings. It was off the hook!
The sun came out and illuminated all the party filth- oh, the aftermath. Sticky floor, cigarette butts, bottles, a broken globe off the light from an enthusiastic arm in the air. I felt quite bad for the neighbors, who didn’t complain at all, when I found out that we had woken up their children a few times. Dear souls, I’ll have to bake them some cookies. The snow has started melting into the green grass, and the school week starts again.
I went to a good old-fashioned dance party in an art gallery that went all night and it was AWESOME. I got a little flyer at Matt Bandy’s Wednesday gig and a text from my friend Melissa. I was feelin up for it after work, and I can’t even tell you how glad I was that I went.
It was in a very industrial looking place on Larimer. One was to go in through the alley, which I did, through an enclosed yard with plyboard on the ground to walk over the wet earth. The walls were brick, with pretty cloths hung around, plants, even a beautiful orchid, candles, and a greatly aged, painted wood floor to dance on. I got there early at 11, and Angelina and Leah were putting the finishing touches. They did a marvelous job…
Matthew Bandy started the night, Ejay played (who is pictured here) and so did Khalib and Seansea who I’m not too familiar with but played awesome– the music was amazing. Early on in the night, I was shocked and very pleasantly surprised that my old friend Liz Rare Groove Martinez came up from behind me near the bathroom. My jaw just DROPPED! I hadn’t seen this woman in YEARS, she had moved to San Francisco and we lost touch after a while. Suddenly there she was in front of me last night and I was thrilled.
I met Liz when I was seventeen going to raves, and a bunch of us hung out together in the mid nineties as the Tribe posse, an event production crew, a family. We made some of the fondest memories of my life, during the days I learned how to LIVE. I was the baby of the group, and Liz inspired me dancing like none other. Man, can she throw down. Steps and twirls and hand clapping and waving and dancing with her to awesome music is one of the funnest things in the whole wide world. We got our groove on together, and my spirit soared!
She was here this weekend from Chicago where she lives now helping her friend Austin move back from New York, who was the woman behind the rave magazine Rise from back in the day. Mike and Michelle originally from Colorado Springs, Michelle was the girl who danced with the glowing ball back then. Gabrielle too, who I met a few times twelve years ago now, Q was there, Jeremy… It was a blast from the past reunion and it was so natural and wonderful I was overjoyed that the current was flowin like this, here in Denver in 2oo7, like it used to. AMAZING. I danced allll night.
There was newness too. New friends from Wednesday nights, a drummer playing hand drums, the sax guy was there, jammin too, UNH. The only thing was I had the way wrong shoes on, which did me in.
28 feels so much better than 17, it’s just as much fun, but I’m solid in who I am. What a wonderful night.
N. Lois Turtledove is a graduate student at the University of Colorado at Denver obtaining a Master's Degree in Humanities. She teaches yoga inside and outside the home, and is an apprentice in the ancient therapeutic art of shamanic practice. She understands that the only real enemy is the self, and the Self is the deepest source of nurture. She wishes freedom from suffering for herself and for all sentient beings.
