Mind/Body Sacred Feminine

Thinking of Jungian things, as they relate to my life–

Consciousness is moving, needing to recognize the sacred feminine.

Mother nature in the body~ Being present with the body/putting the mind in the body:
yoga~union of opposites

My activity was an answer to the question– What does my body want to do? It arose after altering my state of consciousness, there was a trance-y music present, it was Afro Celt Sound System, with african drums, and celtic melodies of wind and strings, very beautiful and driving. I began to dance and then do yoga.

Yoga,
and then my mind wandered off to dream analysis.

Mouse dream, baby suckled, but got changed into a mouse. A couple months back…

Gundestrup_cauldron_Ireland

The mouse in my dream, is a small, baby libido being nurtured by feminine life-giving principle, becomes timid and bites me. Mouse is in the negative …

Mice have intelligent, industrious and compassion traits. (Global Oneness dream dictionary) In the negative, what could this mean?

McNair said, according to Freud, in every dream there is a riddle. Let it be. According to Woodman (Conscious Femininity: Interviews with Marion Woodman) symbols may not mean anything, but mean something later, and they may mean different things at different times. I live in the question…

Snake dream:

Healing energy in the negative, attack of the birth/death archetype.

You don’t have to be afraid of the wicked old crone, because her appearance initiates a transformational process which is an opportunity to achieve a greater state of wholeness. (See the fairy tale The Nine Brothers Who Were Changed into Lambs, and their Sister. Talk by Kathryn Kuisle, Jung Institute, September 10, 2oo9.) Don’t be afraid of the Death of something, no matter how monstrous it feels, for in it is newness, it is part of the process of individuation, becoming whole.

Dreams, Psychology | 12.09.2009 12:39 | No Comments

Dream: wedding drama

Dream life was vivid last night…

Walter Kitty was at the vet, very sick. The scene was very grey. I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about that possible occurrence any more. This reminds me of the dream I had the other night of the front yard of my house and my room decorated with roses.

Also I was dreaming about my wedding day. I packed up all the stuff I would need to get ready as a bride: my dress, red shoes, veil, panty-hose, comb, etc. and headed with the crew I was with to Chris’s parents’ house. The scene got more and more chaotic and filled with people. It was a crowd at a multi-leveled hotel type resort place. I was on a mission to get my dress cleaned. At the ground floor, Chris was doing his thing with his crew, and looked handsome. A few floors up, one of my professors was there saying that my mom wanted to talk to me. In one instance when we flashed to a private setting, she looked proud, happy, beautiful and confident, dressed in a crimson suit with a sharp little hat. Then we were back at the scene with the professor, and she was smashed drunk. Maybe this is the way her absence manifested. At least she was partying and having a good time, apparently… I was a bit disgusted, it was long before the ceremony. Chris was there, seeing me in my dress. I left without saying anything or reacting at all, on a mission to get my shit done.

The elevator malfunctioned, and it turned into a crazy spinning amusement park ride, except it was not supposed to be doing that- spinning until we were about to fall off. We managed to get off the ride– it had done that because the boys had sprayed their water-guns all over the exterior plastic canvas walls. Damn it, I really need to get the dress hemmed, it’s bottom was coming out of the pins and getting all caught up in my feet. I was calling out to Dali my maid of honor to help me get this dress taken care of. Boys were all chaotic, the boys and girls that somehow ended up in my entourage were using the restrooms. Then we were eating Mexican food. I was preparing a tasty salsa out of watermelon.

Dreams | 12.09.2009 9:19 | No Comments

Foreign City

I was in Belgium in my dream last night, at a school program of some kind, with other people my age or younger, perhaps I was younger too. An aunt-like figure was fixing my hair in an old twenties-style, finger-waves except tied with string. There was a boy there I was trying to impress, my good girl-friend Mikal was helping me pick out a dress. The ones I had to choose from were all cute, vintage-looking, short skirts with long sleeves, rich textile fabric.

I really want to apply for this international program coordinator job at CU Denver. I don’t have all of the experience they are looking for, but this job speaks to my ambitions of the past, along the lines of international themes. I should go for it.

Dreams | 1.09.2009 16:04 | No Comments

Negative Animus in a Snake

This dream began as a tour of Soren and Steph’s house, and it was totally my dream house. Afterwards we were outside in the woods. A white and orange spider with long webby legs appeared in my hand, and it turned into a nasty, aggressive, orange snake, that shot at me from the river and then clamped on to my finger. I was squeezing its neck with my other hand so that it wouldn’t bite down any deeper. It was very intense!

I had been having no idea what this snake could possibly represent.

I was riding along Chris on our bikes, talking about how the school job that I thought I had so luckily got was not going to pan out (it was already supposed to have started several times. It’s already Thursday again, and I haven’t heard a thing about Monday.) I had started looking for other jobs. I am down to one night a week at the restaurant, and the sub job at Sheridan is by no means a regular source of income. No calls yet this week. Jefferson County requires a 5 year sub license; Denver is not hiring, neither is Littleton, except there are some paraprofessional positions that I have applied for. I haven’t heard anything from anyone with these yet. They barely pay enough for me to get by, anyway, and some don’t provide sufficient hours. Today I looked at Higher education jobs. Most require way more experience in fields than I have. However, a couple turned up that I think I may have a shot at, especially with my master degree candidacy! I just have my thesis to write… and they pay well! Who me, a sweet job at CU? Why not???? Everyone must start somewhere, and for this job, at least I’m not OVER-qualified! Maybe this job I “got” in July was just a place-holder, until a better job came up. I hope, pray, and dream…

The park with the trees began to look like the scenery from my snake-bite dream. What did this snake feel like? Woodman, the Jungian analyst of an author whose book I just read, is describing a shift of consciousness that asks us to embody our consciousness, to drop down into the gut, which is much like a second brain. This part of us operates on feeling and metaphor. When this feminine side of our nature is pushed aside, we may be overtaken with a negative sort of patriarchy, which is all about go, go, go, and get, get, get. It strives after perfection, rationality, pre-dominating an age which is un-balance, out-moded, according to Woodman. I see it, the materialism and physicalism in our culture, in individuals, and the sadness and disease it brings. I do believe that this type of thinking, that was imposed on me by my father, literally, and that I then imposed on myself, has caused my dis-ease, literally, again. Patriarchy, closely associated with the legacy of Cartesian dualism, which has allowed this practice of disembodied spirit, or as Dr. Gillian writes (how different is what he says, anyway?) disembodied intellect. I have been cut off at the head, not listening to the wisdom of my body, telling me to slow down, and smell the roses more often. Really, really, smell them. Is it surprising in this culture which has paved over and polluted much of the world? We are cut off from that nature, material Earth, our mother, whose language, in its positive form, is love.

I was cut off from my mother when she died.

Linda told me to slow down, warned me about burning it at both ends. I bet she read the wisdom of Woodman.

No, this snake in my dream was not negative femininity, dealing out death (from which comes new life.) It felt like the negative animus, or negative masculine principle within me, arising from an absent father (also something Linda discerned.) This time it was a snake, not a big black unseen, paralyzing force. The feminine is about being, and the masculine, about doing, I imagine. When this capacity is diminished, this portion of the human being is unable to execute projects successfully. The snake represented an inhibited animus in my professional life. I have not sought out a job like I found today at the university, because I didn’t even know a job like that existed, yet I’ve been training for a job like this during all my time at the university. I DO want to work at the college level, in a humanities field- social science, political science, psychology… my thesis reflects that. I can, nothing is stopping me but myself. (And negative archetypal constellations, as Woodman would say.)

It time I engage my creator function, create a form, and fill it out with my energy.

I’ve just been in charge of healing the little girl in me so I can move on, be an individual, creating my own prosperity and well-being.

Dreams, Psychology, The Human Condition | 27.08.2009 23:05 | No Comments

Transformation Dream: Propaganda, Evolution

My dream last night was that Chris moved away from me, and I cried hard.

I dreamed about rearranging my bedroom, I moved a shelf with the Soviet propaganda magazines, and then my bed turned 90 degrees. I dreamed about the garden out back. It was a house that I don’t recognize.

As I work with something of value, things change. Evolution…

Dreams | 24.08.2009 16:58 | No Comments