Shifting and Moving

A short time ago I ran across the email of one of my shaman friends. Shortly after I had the most bizarre dream that she was in. I was at a mansion belonging to a secret society. I was looking for healing. I was with my ex. One of my old friends helped me get by the crazy lever/sliding door booby-trap contraption on some stairs. I was in an old Victorian costume disguise, needing to get past some stuffy old secret society men undetected. Then I ran into an intuitive who said that my ex and I were going to get married. I must have been back in time in the dream, because I had knowledge of the future and I thought in my head- no, we are not going to get married, we aren’t going to make it. But I had to keep quiet about it, because it was private information from the future.

Then I ran into Maggie. She put her fingers into my head and as a healing maneuver she crunched some superfluous bones in my jaw. I was spitting out the nasty bone pieces for the rest of the dream. I was grateful.

I emailed her about it. This is what she said:

> Aloha again Lois,
>
> Well all I feel is that type of healing is very much what we do ‘energetically’.
> Bones cary so much mana (powerful energy). If they didn’t belong in your jaw, they were no
> longer serving you & I did whatever I did so you can be free that is a great thing.
> What is going on for you? Anything with your jaw…mouth…speaking your
> truth…etc?
> Hugs
> Maggie

That place in my head from where she released the extra bones was the same as when a couple of weeks ago my yoga teacher put her thumbs in my ears, told me to release and helped me turn my head better in triangle pose. It had felt wonderful. My yoga teacher is also someone I see for therapy- I have been working on healing that gut of mine. This lady has encouraged me to change my living situation. (Living with my housemate has been super stressful in terms of some economic difficulties.) So, just recently, some more difficulties arose and I told my housemate she needed to move out.

It was a situation I had been tip-toeing around with, not wanting to not shake things up too much. But it came down to me needing to not only speak my truth, but to accept something that had been coming, sooner than I thought it would come, and act on it when the time came. The living situation was no longer serving either of us, and it was time to speak my truth and change it up for the sake of better holistic health. The same thing had happened with my ex, interestingly enough he was in my dream.

I am feeling free!

I have taken some medication because of continued gut-aches, and I finally have some complete relief. I had checked in with my conventional doctor, and he said it didn’t sound serious or like anything to worry about. Whatever it is that I’m doing, seems to be progressing along quite well. The NMT is working, not overnight, but all the work I’ve been doing outside of conventional medecine is working!

Things are definitely changing. Life metamorphosizing. I feel positive about it all. I am moving into a cheaper place with a yard, and space for me and my kitties that I can afford. I am renting my house out. I have put it out there: I would like to manifest some responsible, reliable, respectful tennant(s). And I am moving in with my love and partner!

Dreams, Events, Health, Yoga | 6.07.2008 23:53 | No Comments

My dream and the Intuitive

I dreamed we were saying goodbye again, mama. You were moving to Montana, and I was moving to Minnesota and we were taking turns packing up the house. I got some of your things. I was crying and crying. It was gong to be such a long drive between visitations. I didn’t even know anyone in Minneapolis, just Josh, but we’re not speaking. I knew I was going to miss you, and I miss you now. It’s strange to have you here with me and me not being able to see you. I see you in my mind’s eye and sometimes I feel like you, and right now, I just know you’re here. With these tears, it’s all fresh again. Jason got the dumpster packed up for me, but no, I do not want it.

I went to see an intuitive last week and the session was amazing. It hit directly home. Even this dream and my feelings now lead to the prayers which came during the session:

I release everything and all things which do not belong to me… God, ignite the fire within me and enfold, protect and surround me with divine light and love, may nothing enter my energy field except by way of this light and love, may only the same vibration enter in and everything else I observe outside this field of energy. May I accept and allow a return to complete wholeness and wellness. Thank you for all mention here today. May I be abundantly blessed and abundantly bless others, thank you, thank you, thank you.

May I be aware of helpful and loving guidance, and my mother’s love around me, for she is around me a lot of the time. So are seven to ten other angelic entities! wow…

Dreams, Oracle | 3.06.2008 9:34 | 3 Comments

Mid-May Body and Mind

I’ve been going to see him for NMT (neuro-modular technique) bi-weekly for eight weeks. I improved in the third visit and after some cranial-sacral therapy with Linda, but then I had kind of stayed stuck with still heightened pain in the gut and joints that hovered without any of the other symptoms exacerbating. Dr. Schwartz had found a virus, and reprogrammed my neurology to recognize it as a target for my immune system, which is reacting properly, not “over-activating” as in an “immune disease” which is what Crohn’s is called by the conventional doctors. Schwartz cleared other blockages to healing, karma, and only he or my chart at his office could tell you what else. I had done shamanism, and psychotherapy too, but my somatic, bodily functions were still hovering at dis-ease.

Last week, Dr. Schwartz had released some negative emotions that had to do with my systemic inflammatory response, ulcerative colitis. He said that I could fine, or I could cry and be emotional. If I was, then that was okay, I was just releasing.

I went home and took a nap. In my dream, my niece Christine was hungry for a meat-snack, and she boiled my cat alive. I could hear Walter meowing from inside the pot, and I was in pieces about it, sobbing and crying, devastated. I woke up crying and sobbing! I remembered that I was releasing, and the emotions left me.

I told Antonio about it last visit with him. His first thought was that my unconscious mind was telling me that I wanted some meat.

Then I told him about my stress that I may be need to move in a year or less, and I know the change will be awful for the cats to bear and there will be peeing on stuff when moving happens. The fact that I have three cats has been overwhelming me when I think about my living situation- should anything change. The possibility of change is there because a) Chris and I have tossed around the idea of living together sooner or later and b) my room-mate has been perpetually late on bills and reasonably partaking in household chores. Something needs to change in that scenario (the stress and resentment is negatively affecting my health) and- we have made changes in the bill situation and rent payment deadline/consequences for late payments. One of consequences is termination of her living here! That would be sad though, in a way, she is a dear friend and living with her has been wonderful, too. It is secure for me and my cats, but I had to draw a boundary.

The stress of maybe moving my life around, and the thought of my cats and their peeing has made me wonder what I was going to do with my cats if I had trouble keeping them- if they would pee all over our stuff. I love them dearly! But that behavior is unacceptable. I’m not a stranger to this thought that a part of me would rather “kill” the trouble-maker if they kept peeing on our stuff, than take the cat to a shelter. They would suffer so bad there! Antonio said how acceptable it really is be released from suffering, however, it was interesting that I formulated the sentence the way I had. This got me thinking. “Killing” Walter, was maybe a strictly logical thing to do, but contrary to what could feel as right. Also I am very devoted to my values (take care of my kitties even if it means sacrificing my life moving onward, perhaps, to take care of them)… I must have had such an incredible internal conflict, when the murderous thought arose. It perhaps brought itself to light in the dream that I had… such an “unacceptable” thought of offing my cat was so unacceptable to me that I must have repressed the worst of it. Or maybe it’s anger left over from the fourth time my cat peed on my bed, when he pissed on it right in front of me and I lost it.

Nothing really happened in the journey, that day. But perhaps that energy was released in my dream, and talking about it with Antonio opened a door for the transformation of that energy back into my consciousness, uniting thought and feeling. I just kept coming up against the void in the journey, and fell asleep. I did find the deer and the elephant, toward the end, and elephant wrapped her trunk around me and said that I was deserving of healing. I had not been able to affirmatively answer the question a few days ago. That belief of not deserving may have been quite a block in my healing. The affirmation from elephant was wonderful, and felt real. The King of the Underworld didn’t say anything, but it felt like he affirmed that NMT was serving me.

I watch my mind lately and it, in situations, jumps by default to blame. I play the victim. I find someone to blame.

I must remember to be loved, and to be love.

Dreams, Health, Journey, Reflection | 21.05.2008 3:01 | No Comments

To Darkness

What’s with the dreams of the spiders, a mouse, bats, and bugs?

I had a spider collection in a small suitcase that was not sealed up- they were going to escape all over the place! Sure enough, out comes a mouse barging through. Then I was moving stuff around- some of Dali’s, too. Organizing. I uncovered a webby insect nest, and I think there were bats, too, in that closet.

I must be uncovering some really hidden places inside me… “Stuff” just doesn’t stay down when it’s its time to come out. Oh, the tears for no reason!!! Go, Stuff, go! And never come back!

Dreams | 10.04.2008 16:34 | 1 Comment

Signs of Nurture and Progress

I was pregnant. Linda was there as my mid-wife, and I had a little baby boy. I was a little awkward with him at first and she cautioned me to be careful. I began to care for him, but then I forgot about him. I got my very own apartment, and there he was again, strapped in a baby-seat! And he was OK! I was so relieved. I looked into his eyes and saw their color. I learned what his name was. I was going to give him his bottle but then decided I’d breast-feed him. I was getting the knack of holding him safe… I woke up imprinting the details of this wonderful dream in my memory. Then it hit me, the baby was me!

Dreams | 8.04.2008 19:08 | No Comments