House MD again and Ma
Last night I dreamed that I worked for House for minimum wage. House was there, Chase was there. I was frustrated, but happy to be there. Not surprisingly there was an aura of drama to this entire dream. Mom was there, in her illness in another room. I think Foreman, 13 and Cameron were there too. Suddenly I am at a school and Chris Kilmer. I am depressed and crying. He was walking with some other girl, and I wanted attention. I was in some urban cave, some tunnel by the road and I was going to write something on the concrete wall. I didn’t because there was already someone in there. I ended up at the Wyandot St. house. Someone was watching TV in their living room. Josh was supposed to come out and go somewhere with me to do some specific thing, that I can’t remember. I was left in the foyer area, a stranger in my own home.
I think I’m upset that I’m only going to be making minimum wage.
I dreamed that Dad died. The feel of the dream was similar to when he was in the hospital and almost died in real life. In my conscious world I had revisited some very old feelings from the era mom and dad kept splitting up and getting back together- once a year for almost a decade. These feelings came up talking about our wedding and listening to some music that reminded me of a trip I took a few years ago that also reminded me of dad’s infidelity and both mom and dad’s broken hearts. I remembered vividly huge waves of rage, disappointment, helplessness, and frustration. I had been unable to separate myself from their drama, and I spent my teenage years, already hard years, severely depressed. I was in so much pain, seeing them in so much pain, that I literally tried to kill myself. From what I gather, a symbolic death happened too in my psyche, a part of me split off, and my development was arrested at a time that I was angry that my parents were not taking care of me as they should. I have seen this manifest in my life, as I have emotionally held others responsible when it comes to my well-being. When I am sad, I need you to x, y, and z. 
I dreamed I was hanging out with Linda after a long long while. She had aged greatly. It was high time I had visited her. Her face had my grandmothers super-imposed on it. I love my babicka. 
I had a dream that I was making a plate of food for mom. I was adding creamed spinach to a meat and a starch, I think. It was a dream that felt good.
In my dream last night I was going through an old trunk of mine and ended up finding all kind of loot! There was a check for like $1500, another thousand in cash here and there, and I even found a rare dollar bill that was made to look like lace ribbon. 
Things going on in my life: I started an internship at the Colorado School of English. I am actually getting paid very little while the internship, but I love the environment- all the international students, and the teachers- one happens to be an old favorite friend of mine! The director is french. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to put my french language training into practice! Languages are definitely a special skill of mine, and it feels great to be in an area that complements this. The position may lead to a full time job! Hopefully it will pay more than minimum wage so that I can stay. I would be an admin, I’m assuming. 
Nina Lois is a graduate student at the University of Colorado at Denver obtaining a Master's Degree in Humanities with a B.A. in political science. Her passions are broad when it comes to the human condition. She is deeply interested in philosophy, psychology, environmental and social justice, peace studies, music, nutrition, tradition, and progress. 
Upon her imminent graduation, she wishes to contribute to the health, wealth, and happiness of the community through involvement, writing, and research. For goodness's sake, love the body, cultivate the mind and a garden, and feed the soul!
Thanks again