That Man on the Corner: Where Ideology and Spirituality Meet

I have often felt conflicted in situations where there is a person on the street corner holding a sign, asking for something. Do I, or don’t I have a quarter for this person, and do I or don’t I want to give it to them? Now, I was raised a religious person, and I am an American. You wouldn’t think that these two aspects would oppose each other. But, strangely, they do. I don’t consider myself religious any longer, but I do my best to uphold spiritual values. Up until recently this man on the corner scenario was posing quite a dilemma for me.

There is a prominent political ideology in this country influenced by Darwinian ideas, that if one person helps another, it actually does them a disservice, as it merely perpetuates their weakness. It enables the weak and incapable to remain unproductive as they continue to leech from the rest. Rather, for their own sake and for society’s benefit, they must be left in the struggle or they will never grow and develop to provide for themselves. Then, there is what I was taught in church when I was a child. Jesus washed the feet of the meek, clothed the naked, and fed the hungry. He was a great teacher of not only charity, but also compassion. And like the other teachers of compassion, Buddha, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, there is the teaching of opening one’s heart and comprehending the inherent oneness of human beings trapped in an illusion of separateness from one another and all things. To overcome such an inauthentic view, we are taught to love one another, have compassion, forgiveness, and to open up our hearts. As such enlightened beings, we are God, and there is no division, no fear, only unity everywhere. In such mode of being, the right thing to do was help this poor man out.

But ugh, to give out spare change! I really many happen to think that I need it myself. That I have my own bills to pay, and etc. and etc. But the sign that I saw that day, the sign that the old man sitting against the traffic-light pole was holding, did not say, need change, anything helps, need 50 cents (such an insignificant amount there’s not even a cent symbol key on my computer), Jesus saves, need beer, or whatever. It said, HUNGRY. Read the rest of this entry »

Essays, Politics, Religion, Spirituality | 24.09.2011 13:28 | No Comments

Starch-Free Apricot Pie

This is a lovely alternative for people with a sweet tooth who pick and choose the specific carbohydrates in their diet.  For an 8 inch pie, use maybe 7-8 apricots.  Cut the fruit into chunks and simmer in 1/3 cup agave nectar with 2 tbs. butter, 1 tsp. vanilla and 1/4 tsp. cinnamon.  When the fruit lets go of its juices, in only a couple of minutes, strain.  Return the sweet buttery juices to the stove and cook on low heat.  After the liquid begins to thicken add a splash of cream or substitute (I used a couple tbs. coconut concentrate) and cook down until the mixture is syrupy.  Add only the teeniest dab of lime or lemon juice.

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Health, Starch & Sugar Free | 22.08.2011 21:20 | No Comments

In Search of Father

I’ve had a couple of dreams lately where I like a boy in elementary school or high school, and he wants nothing to do with me. These seem like a blast from the past, but they illuminate the immature male part of my innermost soul, split off from the rest of myself. The male expression of the female’s soul, the animus, is associated to the faculties of discrimination, cognition, logical thinking, and is archetypally modeled by the father. My dreams demonstrate a personal truth, as I have felt powerless over my food choices, having slipped back into an all-permissive diet, where my choices are controlled by my feeling function, not my thinking function. I feel like I should have real icecream, quesadillas, cookies, and biscuits, although I know that I shouldn’t: these foods inflame my gastro-intestinal tract. My feelings have been winning, dominating my logical capacity. My Logos, my animus, as demonstrated by these dreams, is a dwarfed little boy who doesn’t love me, whom I am hopelessly out of touch with. My Eros, my feeling, corresponds to my absent mother, as demonstrated by my actions, my memories, my dear sweet mother who loved me, and fed me delicious, often sugary and starchy food.

My feeling function and my thinking function are embattled in my psyche. This I have become conscious of in the last few weeks, as I have been reading “The Essential Jung.”

So this Sunday morning, I woke up at a reasonable time, and instead of getting up, I decided to sleep in a little more, it being my one day off. Knowing I dream vividly during the later morning, I asked that I have a dream in which I access some good positive father energy, in my attempts to empower my logos, my thinking function.

The dream that came to me was of a family sing-along. I was with my husband’s family. I was perched at the edge of a fountain. Chris’s sister was doing some kitchen gymnastics, putting her heels up the wall of cupboards, and lowering her head down against the kitchen island, and inching up, inverting her body as she did so. I too tried this trick, but I couldn’t do it. I lost it, and flung a motor-bike against a car in a fit of rage. I got on a bicycle and rode, hard, down the highway, crying loudly, in a singing kind of way.

I ended up trying to ride up a grassy hill where my mother was, and I fell in the grass and cried and cried, and woke myself up, crying.

The image of Chris’s father was faint in the background as I had had my tantrum. I remember my own father’s illogical angry outbursts; in fact, these characterize him for me. But what is significant to me is that this dim fatherly presence was permissive (or perhaps just passive) in regards to my tantrum, where I think my biological dad would have tried to outshout me to suppress my outburst. The problematic nature of this is evident, as pertains to the development (or lack thereof) of a strong and positive logical function. This dream father allowed me, however illogical or emotion-ridden. This is a step in allowing me to get closer to him once again, and perhaps learn to be guided somewhat by reason, when appropriate.

My image search of fountains led me to these images of the Trevi Fountain in Rome. How they speak to me, how appropriate they seem to my quest! Read the rest of this entry »

Dreams, Psychology | 14.08.2011 10:18 | No Comments

Dentist

I had a dream about going to the dentist and there being a lot of commotion about my appointment. I was waiting what seemed like forever, until I made a big stink in front of a huddle of other poor lost souls who were waiting. But I finally got seen, and has some gentle work done on my teeth by a rather nice doctor.

This, I feel, was a calling forth of male energy, and asking it to work with me, not against me.

Other images from the night include: a baby that had learned how to walk, and even boggie a little. A walk to a junior high school through winter snow.

Dreams | 8.08.2011 21:24 | No Comments